June 13, 2005
For a Chuckle...
ScrappleFace does it like no one else.
Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, we forget to do what ScrappleFace does - poke fun at political actors. Here are two great recent examples:
GOP Senators Shocked: Judge Brown is Black:
Republican Senators, who yesterday confirmed President Bush's appointment of Judge Janice Rogers Brown to the U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals, today expressed shock at learning that the California Supreme Court justice is black.The revelation comes in same week that Democrat party Chairman Dr. Howard Dean released his research showing that Republicans, and especially their leaders, "all look the same" because they're "white Christians."
"I'm concerned about how this is going to play with the white base," said an unnamed Republican Senator upon learning of Judge Brown's non-mainstream race. "I feel betrayed by President Bush, who has now managed to sneak a number of non-whites, not to mention women, into high-ranking government positions. The White House tricked us into focusing on the accomplishments of nominees, distracting us from the key genetic and theological markers that Dr. Dean has identified as determining factors of Republicanism."...
Rumsfeld: Move U.N. to Guantanamo:
On the day that a bipartisan U.S. commission reported that the United Nations is stuck in a quagmire of mismanagement, corruption and 'dismal' staff morale, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld suggested moving the headquarters of the global organization to the U.S. Naval Station at Guantanamo Bay...The panel probing the U.N. found that the organization has failed to stop genocide, mass killing and major human rights violations.
"Even if you believe Amnesty International's outrageous claims," said Mr. Rumsfeld, "It would be, ethically speaking, a big step up for Kofi Annan to associate himself with the name Gitmo."
The defense secretary said that if Mr. Annan accepts his proposal, the U.S. would throw in several thousand free copies of the Koran as a "signing bonus."