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September 20, 2008

Man-Made Black Holes Temporarily Postponed

Monique Chartier

The Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland suffered some sort of electrical malfunction yesterday and is out of commission for two months as repairs are effected. The first beams had been successfully sent round the Collider ring about ten days ago but protons have yet to be smashed together.

Comments

Monique,

I am disappointed in you. Surely you can find some way to blame this on Barack Obama, or point out that if Sarah Palin were President, this electrical malfunction would never had been allowed to happen?

Posted by: observer at September 21, 2008 9:16 AM

No doubt, your political masters will be very pleased that you've managed to inject the political race into this thread. (Although they may mention, off hand, that you missed an opportunity to accuse the other side of being racist...)

Posted by: Justin Katz at September 21, 2008 10:41 AM

The good news is I get to live another 60 days.

Maybe.

Posted by: chuckR at September 21, 2008 2:21 PM

If I remember correctly, protons are positively charged. So, if a black hole were to manifest from their collision, I would like to assume that only negative particles, like Democrats, would be drawn into it. All the naysayers who have no faith in their fellow human are in danger of immediate extinction. Only those with a positive attitude towards human liberty, life and the pursuit of happiness could possibly survive.

Collide babies collide!

Posted by: George at September 21, 2008 3:43 PM

Well I'm still a little disappointed in you all, excepting George, who at least made a stab at politicizing this. What I was hoping for is something like this.
Obama made a celebrated trip to Germany. Only two months later the LHC has to close down for a mysterious and, if i may say so, a quite suspicious "electrical malfunction." The LHC is said by the MSM to be in Switzerland, but most of it is actually in France! John Kerry, who is campaigning for Obama-Biden, speaks French and even has relatives in....France! Furthermore, the part of the LHC that is in Switzerland lies in one of the Swiss cantons. Obama will campaign very aggressively in Ohio, especially in the area around ...Canton!
Now if you think this is all coincidence, well you probably also think Sarah Palin was for the Bridge to Nowhere before she just told the Congress, "Heck no, you keep that money, we'll build that bridge by ourselves if we want it"!
Now gang, please get busy. I want to see this up on Newsmax, Drudge, Michelle Malkin, whervever you go to promote your conspiracies. I shouldn't have to do this all by myself, it's really not my job. You already know I'm voting for Obama.

Posted by: observer at September 21, 2008 6:03 PM

Here ya go, ChuckR. If X-rays begin emanating from the Collider once it's in full swing, we've got a black hole and a serious problem on our hands.

Posted by: Monique at September 21, 2008 9:32 PM

No need to worry folks-the RI General Assembly has created a black hole where all our state revenues disappear,yet no one is otherwise affected.we can just call on them for advice!
If that doesn't work,make a pointed hat and curled tip sandals out of tinfoil.Works like a charm.

Posted by: joe bernstein at September 21, 2008 11:55 PM