Expensive Sheets on That Ghost

Look, I know the effort that goes into writing, and I've got no gripe against ghost writers. Truth be told, I generally assume that public figures act more as editors of their prepared speeches than as authors, and if they opt to outsource the writer function, well, nobody expects historic literature from state appointees. But I read Education Commissioner Deborah Gist's General Assembly speech prior to interviewing her, last month, and its hokeyness persuaded me that she must have written it herself — not because she's especially hokey, but because it's a quality that's much more tolerable when writing about one's self than when reading what others have written.

I mean, this in a $10,000 speech?

I can’t tell you how nice it was to be talking about a winning streak — or any streak, for that matter — other than the one in my hair. ...

Well, I quickly came back to earth. As you may know, we got some very, very bad news that Monday. I learned that my Guinness World Record for most kisses in a minute had been broken by some ill-natured person in Scotland. ...

Our action agenda, like all learning, starts with teachers. That’s no surprise coming from me! I am a teacher. I truly never imagined doing anything else. In fact, I was an active member of the NEA. Someone please revive Bob Walsh!

Next time Board of Regents member Angus Davis wants to shell out ten grand for a ten-page speech, I hope he'll think to give me a call. For that much money, I could write the speech and then take the rest of the quarter off. And I'll have the advantage of actually knowing who Bob Walsh is and might even be aware of tiny details like the fact that he was not long ago sidelined from the political battlefield by an in-surgery stroke.