The Physics of Government: The Heaviest Element Known to Science

From a friend of a friend in honor of the Obama/Pelosi/Reid porkulus spending bill:

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet
known to science.
The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant
neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving
it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be
detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into
contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would
normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years. It does not decay,
but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the
assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since
each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming
This characteristic of morons promotion leads some scientists to believe
that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical

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12 years ago

LLL has recently came out with a sub-number to their paper on Governmentium.
It was discovered that at the heart of Governmentium, there is a black hole that will suck all into its grasp and cause a critical mass reaction.
The newly discovered black hole delivering the giant cosmic sucking sound is called leftwingnutjobdemocraticticum and feeds on paivaweedasskissium. In RI, we called the collective phenomena, a General Assembly.

12 years ago

That’s very good.

joe bernstein
joe bernstein
12 years ago

The main “physic”this state legislature needs is magnesium citrate,which is used as a prep for colonoscopies.If you blew the collective crap out of them they could meet in a cookie box.

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