How to Host a Social Security Bake Sale
By the way, while we’re on the subject of the URI College Republicans, I’d like to propose a new format for the Social Security Bake Sale that they hold as part of “Coming Out Conservative” week. Social Security Bake Sales are supposed to point out the unfairness of exsting social security system by requiring underclassmen (representing young people) more for the same goods than upperclassmen (representing old people).
Let me suggest this slightly more complex, but more accurate, Social Security simulation…
- Seniors will be charged $1.00 for a baked good. They get to pick up their purchase immediately.
- Juniors will be charged $1.50 a baked good that is the same size as a senior baked good, but have to wait until one hour after paying before picking it up.
- Sophmores will be charged $2.00 for a baked good that is half the size of a Senior/Junior baked good, and be required to wait two hours before picking it up.
- Freshmen will pay $3.00 for their baked good. They have to wait three hours after paying before picking up their purchase. Except that if the Seniors/Juniors/Sophmores have already bought out the entire supply by the time the waiting period has ended, a freshman gets nothing. And of course, there are no refunds.