Keeping Busy Until April 22
Start an office pool.
Call it March-April madness and the point is to make sizable, risk-taking bets to revitalize the speculative muscles. The wagers could include:
1) How many ways will Hillary and/or her campaign find to demean states (and the voters in those states) she didn’t win to make the Orwellian point that some states are more equal than others? Extra bonus point accrued when the total number of slights reaches more than 100.
2) Will Obama finally show the political courage to reject and denounce his middle name so he won’t have to be fearful of Republican attacks if he becomes the nominee?
3) Will Florida and Michigan redo their primaries? Or will Hillary Clinton simply declare herself the winner and award herself all the delegates?
4) Make a futures bet on the combined average of the 1,648 polls that will publish results in the two weeks before the primary.
5) How many times will political talk show host Chris Matthews talk sentimentally about a Philadelphia — the city of brotherly love and fantastically corrupt ward bosses — that no longer exists? The over/under is 912.
6) How will the Pennsylvania Amish vote break?
7) How many times will pundits say “make or break” about Hillary Clinton’s latest last stand? The over/under is 1,336,557.
8) Bet on the number of campaign staff members who will say nice things about their opponent — such as: “There is no way Sen. Obama could be a monster” or “Sen. Clinton’s stature has nothing to do with being a lucky woman” — and have to resign in the next six weeks.