Courtesy the Miami Herald.

… Miami has been hosting Super Bowls for more than 150 years, and in all that time no harm has ever come to a visitor who didn’t do something stupid such as venture outside the hotel. So have fun! Here are some tips to help you make the most of your visit:
GETTING AROUND
Miami has an extensive mass-transit system. Unfortunately, it doesn’t go anywhere you need to go, and it sometimes has sharks on it. (You think I’m kidding.) …

Apparently, there were some objections to his exceedingly honest column. In response, he has written a full retraction, inclusive of a description of game day security measures (which are probably not accurate) and an evaluation of the competency of Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano (which probably is).